Tonight I checked out G's profile and saw he had risque comment from some other lady. I felt jealous. So I knew then that I had to break it off, because I was becoming too attached. I had sensed it before too, when I found myself checking his profile all the time and hoping he had sent me a message. I suppose it would be one thing if I chose him just for looks, but I am ridiculously picky and so it's more like I genuinely thought he was a clever, funny, interesting male. It's really no wonder that I feel this emptiness now that I have explained to him why I can't talk to him anymore. And I almost hoped he would protest but he did not, not in the least. He is content to have just "fuck buddies" whereas I really really want more. It makes me feel hurt in spite of myself. But on the other hand I am happy that I got this out of my system, that I learned from it, and that now I appreciate my boyfriend even more, even if he is far away. Good news, though, I think he really is serious about letting me come live with him this time. I'm so excited, and my hopes are sky-high. If I can stay with him in person long enough, maybe he'll feel ready to marry me so that I can get a job there and become a citizen and finally have that feeling that he doesn't ever want to let me go. I want great sex AND great love.