sexthoughts (sexthoughts) wrote,

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My first really naughty webcam.

A couple nights ago my new online friend, who I will just call G, coaxed me into something like Internet foreplay, and then showing off my body on webcam... and eventually touching myself for his viewing pleasure. He really liked it, and I liked that he liked it. I like him. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I did meet him in person (it's pure fantasy, I would never meet him) and just how good it could be. He has a really nice cock, and I wonder what something that big would feel like pushing deep inside me. Now here is the part where I feel ashamed. I think my boyfriend would be hurt by these thoughts if he knew, but it's just that I get lonely, really lonely, and this long-distance relationship has lasted two years and he still isn't ready to let me move in with him. And he won't talk really dirty to me, and he won't do sexy things on webcam for me though I have asked. I love my boyfriend, but I can't help but feel more doubtful as time goes on and on and I want to marry him and he says no and I want to live with him and he says no. It makes me feel insecure about how serious he is about keeping me around. What I really want is to feel like someone really loves me, is hopelessly in love with me and thinks I am fantastic in every way and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. And I have waited and waited. But nothing comes, so now G makes me feel sexually desirable and my boyfriend makes me feel like.. he.. might.. someday... possibly... love me enough to overcome fears and marry me. /:

Enough sad thoughts, back to sex thoughts. I never thought I would do it, but when I did show off on cam for G, I really enjoyed it. I miss sex, I miss sex a lot. And I felt he wanted me, really wanted me then. I teased him with my white stockings with the bows and my new stringy thong. He was falling all over himself to fuck me. It was an exhilirating feeling. It was lust, it was power. And it turned me on so much. And when he came, I was so thrilled, so happy, so proud of myself, so confident, so awesome. I think I want to do it again, and with each time I will become less awkward about it, and then I can really let go and I could cum for him too. He would like that (:
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